Bad Glee Theatre: Britney 2.0

When I, and I’m pretty sure everyone else, heard that there was going to be a second Britney Spears tribute episode on glee two thoughts ran through my head.

1) Really glee? I just forgot about the last one.

2) It’s because the X Factor is leading in isn’t it? Can’t wait for the Demi Lovato tribute episode!

Needless to say, I was not expecting much of this episode and I’m pretty sure the general viewing public wasn’t either. However, when I heard Britney wasn’t involved in this episode I still felt that this episode was probably going to suck but at least I didn’t have to watch recreation of Britney Spears music videos for an hour.

Also there were mash-ups and I like mash-ups.

So was it good?

No. It wouldn’t be in “Bad Glee Theatre” if it was good.

It goes against the sheer title of the name of the series guys.

However, as stated in my last addition of “Bad Glee Theatre” there are, for me, two types of glee episodes for me. The first is the punch someone in the face because it was so bad as evidenced in “Britney/Brittany”.

We’re talking about the second type today which is so bad that it’s kind of awesome and camp in its badness.

It’s bad and a little offensive but I can forgive more because the parts that went from so bad its awesome outweigh the so bad it offends me parts.

At least in my opinion.

Now let’s go deeper into “Britney 2.0” shall we?

The role of Britney Spears will be played by Slutty Rachel Berry.

Okay. So first I’m going to talk about the somewhat offensive parts of the episode and then I’m going to talk about the awesome parts of the episode.

Because I need to purge myself of the horribleness before talking about the gloriously cheesy goodness.

The most glaring flaw in the episode is Brittany in the middle part of the episode. Brittany in the beginning and Brittany at the end of the episode are fine because they both make sense to me. It makes sense for Brittany to get kicked off the Cheerios for her grades because that is what happens in school. It makes sense for Sue to let her back on at the end of the episode when she demonstrates her own brand of cleverness.

What sits bad with me for the middle part is how Brittany goes about her “downfall” by imitating Britney Spears’ own “downfall”.

Yeah no.

Britney Spears didn’t have a “downfall” to rise above the ashes. She has a chemical imbalance and needed help to stabilize herself. You know how for the most part during tribute episodes the writer of them usually seems to make the characters kiss the artist’s ass? Yeah this is the total and complete opposite of that.

It need a more middle ground. Like the Whitney Houston tribute episode “Dance With Somebody” (episode seventeen season three), they mentioned her problems and they didn’t show an over the top worship. It was respectful and tasteful and a good middle ground. So why go that route with Britney in her second tribute?

Well that’s a question for later on after my episode summary. But that is the most glaring flaw in the episode. I have another thing that pisses me off but again episode summary first then we’ll talk.

Right!

So you have Brittany/Britney and Bitch Kitty doing an opening song and dance Britney number with the Cheerios that is pretty cool. Hey anything that shows off Heather Morris’ dancing skills is good enough for me.

Question…what the fuck are those things they’re holding?!?!

Sue, of course, tells them that they’re garbage and a drunken hobo could do it better. Brittany has a voice over talking about how awesome her do-over senior year is because it totally is guys!

(Except she misses Santana.)

Then Sue realizes that Brittany had failed her senior year the first time and that she is well on her way to repeating it for a second time. My question is why didn’t Brittany get kicked out last year? Most clubs have a minimum grade point average that you need to participate. At least that was the rule at my high school.

Anyway Brittany is super sad and dresses in some really fugly clothes. The combined forces of Wemma had noticed this sudden and drastic change in the poor girl.

How the hell did someone…you know what? I don’t want to know.

Of course instead of actually having a real and serious talk with Brittany about this, they decide to go for the tried and true New Directions solution! They assign another Britney tribute week.

Because you know drug induced hallucinations the first time around totally solved their problems! Plus Sue has totally forgotten about her lawsuit with Will from that episode right? Right. They’ll be fine.

(I have a baaaaad feeling about this.)

Despite everyone’s best musical intervention through Britney songs, which were amazing and not brought on by drugs, Brittany still persists on her spiral downward. She eats junk food (ugh), tries to shave her head (I really hope Britney didn’t watch this), and attacks JBI with an umbrella while some random kid yells “LEAVE BRITTANY ALONE!!!” (that was the only funny scene of her spiral downward because I’ve been wanting someone to attack JBI for years).

She also through the magic of Britney Spears ends up embarrassing the glee club at an assembly.

(Okay seriously no more performing at assemblies guys! You always make fools of yourselves!)

Brittany successfully convinces the glee club (because New Directions is helpless against her wit and logic) to lipsynch their performance. It goes about as well as any other New Directions performance in front of their peers. (Stoner Brett does get an awesome line though.)

Oh Stoner Brett.

Also there is apparently rules against this in THE SHOW CHOIR RULEBOOK OF DEUS EX MACHINA which Mister Schue helpfully tells us.

So Brittany tenders her resignation to the glee club.

However, Sam decides to head this off at the pass. He makes her a map (okay seriously forget repeating her senior year how did Brittany get to high school? There’s being not smart and then there’s Brittany.) to the auditorium and confronts her. Which people should have done ages ago because yeah you guys should have helped your friend in other ways.

Brittany reveals what we all figured out. She misses Santana and hates that she’s had to repeat her senior year. Being kicked off the Cheerios was the stressor that just sent her down into a Britney Spears inspired spiral so she can rise herself from the ashes. Again I feel the need to point out the Britney Spears has a chemical imbalance and needed medication and help. (And yes I will stop pointing it out.)

Right so Brittany tricks Sue to let her back on the Cheerios. She also starts tutoring with Mister Schue and Miss P.

Meanwhile, also in McKinley, Disney Princess brought to life Marley Rose (seriously this girl is so nice I am not convinced that she is human she escaped from the Disney universe and came to our world) is crushing on bad boy Jake Puckerman. Who clearly takes after his brother despite never meeting him.

By taking after his brother I mean Jake likes the ladies.

A. Lot.

New best friend Unique tries to warn Marley to avoid guys like Jake. However, Marley finds herself helpless under Jake’s thrall and agrees to a date on the bleachers with him.

Hey when you’re on a budget you’re on a budget.

Anyway Baby Puckerman gives Disney Princess Marley his jacket because she’s cold. Marley proceeds to wear it in every scene afterwards because of…reasons. (Seriously Marley don’t fall in love too quickly girl!)

However, after Puck comes in for a confrontation with Jake over his behavior (kind of) and how glee club made him a man. So after some prodding Jake finally joins New Directions (yay? We knew this was going to happen). Although not before Marley gets her Disney Princess heart broken when Jake reveals he’s dating Kitty (random).

Kitty is cackling on the inside.

So Marley with her Disney Princess heart broken sings a song of love and longing by one Britney Spears.

It’s okay girl you’ll get him in the end.

Finally in New York, Rachel is not having an easy time with Cassie July because Cassie July told her she’s not “sexy” enough to plays roles like Evita. (Rachel will later go on spending the rest of the season attempting to disprove her with her “sexy”, “edgy” makeover that just makes me cringe).

Kurt, however, reveals something very interesting about Cassie July. That she had a mental breakdown during a performance that left her blacklisted from Broadway community. Which, as someone who has been involved in the theater world on and off, sounds about right for me. You have to have a good attitude and not be a hyper ambitious back stabbing little bitch because then no one wants to work with you. It’s a good lesson to learn.

Seriously does no one take note of the comparisons between Rachel and Cassie?

Rachel, however, decides to take Cassie down a peg by following her old glee club’s assignment and doing a Britney Spears song.

Because you know that shows she’s a mature and grown up adult.

(Question: If Rachel is soooo unpopular at NYADA then how is she able to get people together before enlisting Brody’s help? God the inconsistencies are making my head hurt.)

So she and Brody along with various other NYADA students do what is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to soft core porn on television. Cassie, who clearly is the only one with any goddamn sense here, calls Rachel out. Rachel snaps and yells at Cassie revealing her checkered past. Cassie throws her out of class and should have never let her back in. However, Cassie does let her back in on like some super secret probation because NYADA has a meltdown policy of some sort. And it ends with Rachel learning the tango.

That’s what happened. So what’s the other thing in this episode that pissed me off.

Rachel.

Oh God Rachel pissed me off. Now I do admit. I don’t like Rachel much anymore. I really don’t. And when I start doing character retrospectives I will detail my problems with her because I started out with her as my favorite character. However, here?

Yeah. No.

Her attitude here pisses me off. And I do understand the place she’s coming from. I’ve had a douche-y professor before that I wanted to show up. But see I showed him up by getting the best grade in his class through a lot of hard work. Rachel just did this.

It’s like soft core porn set to music! I mean you all did see when Brody touched her crotch.

You’re fucking telling me that I can see that on National television but we can’t have a decent Klaine kiss?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

And it’s not just that it’s her reactions. Rachel is clearly used to getting what she wants and when she doesn’t get what she wants she attacks. She has a history of this. But she is as she is so quick to point out a “mature grown up college woman who lives in New York”. Well then fucking act like it Rachel Berry. You fucking grow up and act like that adult you claim to be. You want to be like Cassie? Because your attitude here if it was with a teacher who had established credibility within the theater community could have effectively killed your career before it even got started.

Cassie was right to throw her out of class. She was right to call her out on it. Also what’s so wrong with not being sexy?

Rachel you are not the traditional definition of sexy. Stop trying so hard.

Why not be like Sutton Foster?

She’s not the traditional definition of sexy. She’s not going to play Evita one day. But you know? She’s very talented and embraces the roles she gets and fucking owns them.

It’s starts a trend throughout the rest of Rachel’s story for the first half of season four at NYADA. She has vague obstacles but she doesn’t overcome anything in a meaningful way. I don’t want to root for her. I want to root against her. I want her to fail. I want her to fail hard and build herself back up because none of these so called “obstacles” do anything to make her a better person.

They’re just there and that’s pretty much it. It’s not satisfying at all.

Okay so the stuff I really do like about this episode. What makes it so campy glorious?

The musical numbers for one. Seriously these are the most unintentionally hilarious songs that I’ve heard in a long, long time coming from glee. I mean we have “Boys/Boyfriend”, “Hold It Against Me”, “Gimme More”, “Oops! …I Did It Again”, “Womanizer” and “3”. These are all just comedy goldmines of ludicriousness, silliness and absolute campy fun!

You have Blaine and Artie acting like total dorks on “Boys/Boyfriend”.

OhmyGod so adorable.

“Hold It Against Me” features some amazing dancing but seriously who the fuck were those guys and what they holding. “Gimme More” is bad but it’s so totally over the top bad that I can almost forgive it for failing so much.

Well don’t they all looked very drugged.

“Oops! …I Did It Again”, while certain stuff pisses me off, it cracks me up that Rachel’s idea of being “sexy” is posing on tables.”Womanizer” is an absolutely fun song. The dancing, the fantasy sequence, the girls stalking Jake this just good timing and a fun song. Plus Unique’s vocals are amazing. Hell I admit to liking it in Britney form. I was thrilled to see this get a glee treatment.

“3” has Tina, Sam and Joe singing about having a three-way. Why is Joe singing about that?!?! Oh bless the poor lamb he probably has no clue what the fuck he is singing about here.

So…are you “three” going to have some fun later?

The only two I feel didn’t fall into the glorious camp part were “Crazy/U Drive Me Crazy” and “Everytime”. The way they were framed just felt like they are a  little quieter and more introspective. It did provide two solid songs as well as some reprieve from the campiness in the others.

It’s actually very soothing and vulnerable isn’t it?

So okay we have campy music/music scenes. What else is there? Well like I said the bit with Brittany attacking JBI was golden. I loved Stoner Brett. Unique being just so Unique with Marley was glorious. I did love watching Cassie July go all apeshit. Brittany in the beginning of the episode and the end had me in stitches. The moments that aren’t the real plot make the episode for how great they are. This is much like it’s predecessor in that it’s a bunch of musical moments tied together in something resembling a plot. And there is a legitimate plot here. However, the gloriousness of the camp is overshadowed by the cringeworthy moments of which there are many. Still though after one or two repeated watches, the episode grows on you because of how vastly improved it is to the first.

Still it does set up a few plots for the first arc of season four of glee and it does it well. Granted we have WTF moments in like why did Puck fly out to Ohio so easily? (Plane tickets are expensive guys.)

However, if someone asks me which glee Britney tribute episode I prefer then I’ll pick “Britney 2.0” for its amazing campy badness.

I am such a bad person for laughing at this scene. I really really am.

NEXT ON THE GLEE REWATCH PROJECT: Character retrospective maybe. Or I may start a new series. I’m working on some ideas. Sorry I don’t have a set schedule guys!

Follow Me: @GleeRewatch for the latest updates. If you want there is always my personal account (though why I have no clue). Also I am a contributor for PopWrapped and write glee-caps for the site! Check out my latest glee article here!

Notes: Sooo “Brittany/Britney” or “Britney 2.0” which do you prefer?

Credits: Glee Wiki (glee.wikia.com)
Glee season 4 on Hulu
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